It probably wasn’t all that easy to tell your children you were getting divorced. Perhaps they already had an inkling that your marriage was in trouble; yet, it’s never easy for kids to learn that one of their parents is no longer going to live with them. Change is typically challenging no matter what your state in life happens to be at the time; for children whose parents divorce, it’s even more difficult.
The more stability you can provide for your children as they adapt to new lifestyles, the better. Many other parents, including perhaps some in Ohio, have been giving a new trend a try in the hope of helping their children cope with their divorces and move forward toward happy, successful futures. This is nesting.
Nesting allows structure, routine, familiarity and consistency
You’ve likely heard horror stories from friends or extended family members who have gone through divorce in the past related to transporting kids back and forth between houses, trying to keep track of personal belongings and important school supplies, and simply remembering whose week or holiday (or whatever) it is to have the kids this time or that. Nesting can remove all that stress. Here’s how:
- It allows your children to keep living in the home you and your spouse shared during marriage.
- Your children witness your willingness to compromise and cooperate as you and their other parent take turns living in the house with them.
- You don’t have to be bothered trying to sell your house (which by itself is enough reason to win some people over to this idea).
- If you have already paid off your house, it keeps you from incurring a new living expense.
- You and your kids can continue to build new memories in the same loving home you’ve always shared.
Of course, most situations have a downside, and nesting is no different. Some of the cons people who have tried this system have mentioned include having to find someplace to live when it’s not time to stay with the children, awkwardness at running into your former spouse in the very home you shared together, and (if you’re still paying a mortgage on your family home) having to shell out money for rent for an apartment or a second house.
You may want to try nesting temporarily to see how it goes. As with most child custody situations, as long as you and your former spouse are in agreement, you need only seek the court’s approval to implement a plan. If a problem arises or your former spouse goes against an existing court order, you can ask a family law attorney to help you rectify the situation.